Thursday, October 31, 2013

Day 12: ok I lost count =P

Morning Party People!
            To start things off this morning let me disclose that I've been driving all night and the delirium is starting to take hold. I'm listening to John Denver on my headphones and I'm sure I'm going to get all weepy, that or hungry for an omelet.
             Open mic is getting better, had a lot of fun and the bit worked out about as well as I thought it would. Obviously it needs many rewrites but I'm happy to see some progress. This blog is starting to produce some results!
             Now the task is to keep this momentum going. I know I have a habit of coasting as soon as I think I'm doing something right. It's definitely true in the cab biz. One step at a time right?
             I'm feeling better, well maybe not better, I feel like I have a lot more clarity about whats going on in the life.
             One off the open mic gals at the club was selling photos of each comedian's set, of which I bought one. I think I'm starting to realize how tubby I really am. That's a good thing however. It's something that I need to see but haven't seen in quite sometime.
             I went for a walk yesterday, felt good to out in the world instead of living life through a cab windshield.
            I know I should write more but I'm starting to nod off, must be the Denver.

Till next time party people,
Keep on a Chooglin

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Day 10 a special holliday!

Morning Party People!
                I'ts 10 am so I'm writing a little late. I got up and started driving this morning to tranasport people to and from where ever they need to go I noticed that it must be a very special day this morning.
                I guess it's ,"Drive like an A-Hole Day"
                Ok enough about mundane bitching about my lame income. I had a weird night last night. I hit the open mic and did the new bit, it went ok but thats not what stuck with me. The host made a joke when I went up on stage and said that I look like Meatloaf (the singer). I thought it was funny and laughed because I know her well enough to know that she was doing what comedians do, she saw someting and made it funny. I reacted by pretending to sing like meatloaf from Rocky Horrow and then we all moved past it. What I didn't know is that she took a pic and posted it on FB with the caption, Meatloaf came in to do a set tonight. Again, I thought it was funny.
                Now I'll say this here because because writing and being honest with myself is what this blog is about but I wouldn't never say this on a FB thread because it would kill the joke. I haven't felt bad about my weight for awhile but seing people that I didn't know making fun of me kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I've been thinking a lot about it. Maybe I'm not as comfortable in my own skin as I thought I was?
                In an unrelated post another tubby comedian posted how he just ran five miles, good for him. This also upset me, but for obvios selfish reasons. I need to spend some time thinking on this....

Till Next Time Party People
Keep on a Chooglin!

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Day 10 I think my cat is trying to talk to me

Morning Party People!
           Thus morning I woke up extra early and made a pot of coffee, as the coffee brews I slip into the shower, kind of a ritual to wash away the previous day, that and to not smell like a hobo. As I sit down at my desk my cat Baboo wants to jump up to my lap so I can hold her. I need to write and I know if I don't pick her up she'll then resort to jumping up on the desk and will try to walk on the keyboard. Seriously, yesterday she sent an IM to one of Jennies friends on her computer without Jennie knowing about it. Granted all she sent was "BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB" but you get the idea.
           At one point when I was playing Batman Arkham City I noticed she was watching the tv intently as a fight scene with Catwoman was taking place. I'm not sure but she might be the next step in kitty evolution, or she would have been, thankfully we had her fixed as to ensure the survival of the human race.
           I'm having trouble pushing myself to work the long hours required the a taxi driver should work. I don't know if it's just that I'm so tired of it, or that I refuse to rise above a certain income level. I tend to only make what I need to make, which is fine but I bitch about money so much thatI'm obviously not ok with it. Must push harder I guess, keep on a Chooglin as I would say if I ever said that.
           That phrase is from a CCR song if anyone was curious.
          "Keep on doing what you love, money will find a way to you" I read that in a book for recovering artists. I still believe it, I have a feeling something has got to change, I'm just not sure how.
           I wrote a new bit yesterday, I'm going to try it out at an ope mic tonight. Dos Gringos on Priest is a nice room, not a lot of people so there's not as much pressure, that and it's $2 taco tuesday, so that makes it all the better!
           The was a dinner theater troupe that was holding auditions, I submitted and headshot and resume and they responded with an invitation to come to the auditions. The bummer was that I tried over a few emails for them to give me some details about where and when but they never got back to me. I was supposed to do a reading at 11am on a Sunday but he never said where. When I woke up at 9 that morning and didn't see an email I sent him another email asking me to take me of the list (politely). He responded with another option , that I do a reading later in the week. I sent him my schedule when I could read and he sent back a time that I wasn't available for. After that I told him that I had just received another offer and wouldn't be able to be in his show. I hate lying but it was better than being bitchy and saying the real reason why I wouldn't come read, just too many red flags.
            I know I sound like a Prima Donna but when someone I'm trying to work for won't respond to an email in a reasonable amount of time, or doesn't read the email I sent I tend to be very wary of the job....that and the website looked like ass.
            Till Next time Party People!
Keep on a Chooglin!

Monday, October 28, 2013

Day 9 ...I think

Afternoon Party People!
            So first ff, no I don't do my writing this morning. It's not a hell worthy trespass but I have to make sure I don;t do the same thing tomorrow morning. I don't want to get into the habit of givng myself too much slack.
             Last night I I put the finishing touches on the most current podcast. It's getting easier each week to get these puppies out ter into the net. That part I'm glad for, now listening to them thee next morinng is another thing entirely. I don't have the usual hang ups, like hating the way I sound, seriously though, I'm an actor, why wouldn't I love the sound of my own voice?
            Now my main focus is to provide entertaining content, I'm trying to record conversations that we normally wouldn't have. I think doing that we gain access to new parts of this life we've yet to explore.
            I think in my last blog I was on the topic of food stamps and weed. I was going to continue the topic here but that's turning into a bit so Im going to work it out on stage.
            I have no idea how the hell I'm going to move to Denver, all I know is that I am. I can tell but the nervous feeling in my gut that gets stronger and stronger the closer December gets. If anything the next year should be very interesting!
            I need to work on some material, so till next time party People!

Keep on a Chooglin!

This episode gets heavy this week! Fair Warning =P

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Day 8/9 We all knew it would happen, one day missed.

Morning Party People!
            Ok I missed a day, there are now exuces to be made, one a refocusing on my original plan. To keep writing the moment I wake up, or in this case right before I pass out from exhaustion . I't 4:30 am and I've been driving all night. I had fun and I made a decent amount of cash, so nothing new to report there.
            While  was driving around a questrion came to me.Why do we hate the poor so much that we will take their food from them if the get high?
             Granted the thought of moeny going out to someone who is just getting high all day doesn't exactly envoke sympathy in me but I think this idea goes deeper than that.
             First off lets deal with the fact that weed is still considered a class 1 narcotic, meaning it has NO medicinal value whatsoever. We all know this is bullshit. Here in AZ we have medicinal marijuana to help treat people with chronic pain as soon as they cough up a shitload of cash. What you think it's free to be in pain?
            Lets assume that the prohibition on weed goes away, that seems to be the trend of thing from where I stand. So how would that effect the poor people and their food stamps? Are we still going to stick it to them if they smoke up? What about alcohol? What about psych-meds?
            Or how about we focus on why a fellow human who grows up in the same country, the same town, goes to the same school, feels its pointless to do anything?
           Granted I could go on and on about being born into poverty and the struggle of the 99% and all but that's not the basis of this question. The question is, why couldn't they do the same thing I did?

I've descovered that my fatigue says that this topic will be discussed at a further date.

Till next time
Keep on a Chooglin

Friday, October 25, 2013

Day 7 waking up late

Morning Party People,
            I imagine that these blogs are becoming less and less interesting to read, sorry about that. Unfortunately for all of us I'm not writing these for entertainment but more so to build a writing regiment. The more I don't want to write, the more I force myself to. There are some that say that creativity shouldn't be forced, much like exercise. Up until recently I would be inclined to agree, so would my fat ass.
            So here I am, plugging away, trying to get the thoughts in my head on this screen, So what should I talk about? How about music?
            I've bought two albums in the past week so far. Branches by Radical Face and Girl Talk by Kate Nash. The branches I loved instantly as it's more of the same from radical face yet far deeper, they do such a great job of painting a rich picture to explore via sound, I highly recommend it, espescially if you like to get high.
            Girl Talk is definatly growing on me! Kate Nash has gone in a new direction from sweet angst ridden gal to a sweet agnst/angry/fierce gal. Meaning she has dealved into some punk roots that meshes well with her melodies. I'm glad I gave this album a chance as at first listen I wasn't too thrilled with it, I guess I thought Kate had left what made her so great behind. She hadn't, she just grew into a richer artist and it shows in her music....and no I'm not just saying that because I want her on my podcast =P
           I love this world so much and most of the people in t, I truly do, perhaps I should say that more....

Till Next time Party People
Keep on a chooglin!

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Day 6

Morning Party People,
              Like usual I'm not sure what to write here. I know my back is killing me right now, I have zero desire to start driving now so perhaps I'll go out later and work through most of the night, that could be fun. There I go again, thinking about money again. I don't  want to write about income, because I think it's tedious.
              I went to the open mic but didn't wait around to go up, it had been about two hours or so. I'm not hating, it happens. I just wished I had the time to wait, it feels crappy to leave the club without going up. I did get a chance to chat with some of the more veteran comics, and one of them might want to do the podcast, so if anything the evening wasn't a complete loss.
              So here I am, at this keyboard, wondering what to put on this page. at the moment I'm listening to an album of an artist I'm trying to get on the podcast, the thing is I'm not liking their new album too much. It's not bad, it's just in a new direction. I'm thinking if by some chance this person would do the podcast would I have to lie and say I titaly dug the new tunes? I wouldn't try to be a dick, you ever see a friend of your start hanging out with some new people and suddenly you can see how their heart and soul are being poisoned by theur new friends. Much like heroine I guess. That's what this new album sounds like to me. This is only the first listen thoug, I can tell I will like it more and more as I learn to appreciate it. After all it took me awhile to enjoy Girl in a Coma's last album.
              Come to think of it, there was never a Beastie Boys or a Blind Melon album I ever liked on the first listen, so that should tell you something about my taste in music =P

Till next time Party People
Keep on a Choogln!

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Day 5........Five Alive sucked! It was OJ for poor kids growing up

Morning Party People!
           Stream of conciousnous writing hitting the keys soon after I wake up. As soon as I get up anyways, I wouldn't call myself awake just yet.
           Unike yesterday money was not the first thing that entered my mind when I woke. Today I was thinking about my set for later tonight, I think that's a better place to focus my attention.Progress!
           When I checked the stats on my Podcast I saw that I was at 27 listens for the week which is awesome because it used to take me a whole week to get to thirty listens. Progress!
           I downloaded Radical Face's new album which was amazing, much better than the last album which in itself was pretty amazing. Progress!
          Coffee+MCT oil+grass fed butter+a blender=one kick ass cup of coffee!....not so much progress as a tasty morning beverage I thought I'd share.
          Yesterday I was on a voucher run and the lady asked if we could stop on the way for some smokes. Normally I don't but she seemed like a person worth bending the rules for. She has brain cancer, she said it doesn't look good and she doesn't know how long she has, it's odd that I made her day a little better by helping her get something that would make her feel worse. Ironic? Unfair, or is it just very lifelike?
          I wonder who I'll meet today, I wonder who I'll meet tonight at the pen mic? All I know is that doing these little blogs is starting to make a difefrence on how I see my day...progress!

Till next time Party People,
Keep on a Chooglin!

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

This week Justin Dam and I have a great conversation, then Sam Fleager joins us!

Day 4 Results!

Morning Party People!
         I almost left the house before writing this blog. Money is always on my mind the moment I wake up, I'm not liking it either. There is a bunch of things I'd rather be in my head when I wake up, my sweetie, my art, hell I'd prefer being excited about hanging out with some of my friends. Instead I think about how much money I hope to make today.I can see writing these thoughts out that my priorities are mixed up.
         I'm a big fan of Joe Rogan's podcast, I find myself agreeing with a lot of the ideas he talks about but every now and ten he says something that rubs me the wrong way. It was something to the effect of - if you're pissed about the money you make it's because you don't want to see that it's probably all the money you deserve. Is that true? Am I destined to be poor my whole life? Is anything ever going to get better. Am I stuck in a shitty year in high school that's never going to end?
        I was bummed out when that idea came into my head, I had to fight the idea, to keep it from coming a fact that I felt about myself. I think that idea was already in my head, it was just hiding. So was this all I deserved? Well what actions do I take to warren the income I bring in? Am I working as hard or as smart as people who make more than me? No, no I'm not.
        Ok so at least I have some truth now, what's the next step? Make a plan, take some action. I'm pleased to say that that ball is already rolling.
        I started this blog, or this dailly blog so I could get in the habit of writing on a daily basis, last night after Jennie went to bed I stayed up for a bit so I could write. I finnaly got a bit that I'd been half assing for a year now on paper and I think I've got a direction for it to go, I can't wait to try it out tonight at the open mic!
        I think the more I work like this the more I will deserve (at least to myself). Only time will tell!

Till next time Party People,
Keep on a chooglin!

Monday, October 21, 2013

Day 3 Work

Morning Party People!
       Yesterday I made no money. GASP!
        That's right I didn't drive yesterday, this might bite me in the ass later in the week but for now I feel ok about it. I spent the day recording three episodes of the podcast. The first interview went a lot better than I expected it to. The second worked out like I thought it would and the third went deeper than I though t would.
        I'm not sure what to write next as I've yet to have any coffee this morning. I hate it when my brain gets stuck in 2nd gear >< Coffee should be done in a few minutes , wath once I start drinking it nothing on this page will change. POOF like magic, shit stays the same!
        So what's next for this week? Why the hell am I thinking that far off >< What's on the list for today? Today I'm hitting the road while running bits through my head occasionally writing them down. Perhaps my goal will be to write more ideas down so when I get home I can spend more time here working out the premises if you will!
        Not sure if this idea of writing as soon as I wake up is a good one....
        At least there's coffee, and at least I showed up to the keyboard, for now that's good enough, tomorrow I might expect more from me, for today I'm happy I'm here.
        Now how do I translate this effort into an exercise I can do?

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Day 2 ok so now what do I talk about?

I've been up for about 30 minutes, I have my coffee mixed with mct oil and butter, here we go!

Morning Party People!
             Today was different when I woke up. Maybe it was seeing Jennie when I first woke up, or maybe it was the good night I had driving the cab, or it could be the four podcasts I'm set to record today. I think in the end it was that I have a bunch to lok forward to today...or maybe it's that today I'm not taking anything for granted, either I'm alive and I psyched to be in this dimension!
             That's right I said dimention! I mention that because last night I stopped by Stand Up Scottsdale to see some of my comedian peeps. I like doing that because 1. They're awesome to hang out with and 2. Seeing other people getting paid for what I want to be doing sets a subtle yet scorching flame under my nute to keep working.
             As I was walking up to te club last night I saw Jules (Not sure if I spelled his name right but lets go with this for now). I've met Jules at the open mic nights and the dude has always been super friendly. I hadn't seen him for a bit and asked him where he's been. His response was to the effect of "recovering rom a DMT trip from a few weeks past" I was instantly facinated.
             For those of you who don;t know DMT or    dimethyltryptamine is an intense psychedelic which Joe Rogan talks about all the time. Jules was willing to share his experience with me so I listened to his tale of how his ego broke down and how he saw the dimensions of the world we live in, all of it very fascinating. I'm curious about having an experience like that myself. I think it's the death of my ego that I would be looking forward to. With my luck I would see nothing but a vision of me running the floor of some diner at the age of 72, I'd have a heart attacke right in the middle of a Sunday brunch shift with only one server and no cook and a full house. That would be the ultimate hell to live and die in for me.
             I got to get ready for the day now, feel free to copy and paste your morning thoughts/muses/ shit you gotta spit!

Till next time Party People
Keep on a Chooglin!

Saturday, October 19, 2013

As promised, day 1

Morning Party People!
           Ok so here's da one of "I just woke up writing". Just to be honest I woke up about 20 minutes ago, I made coffee and put some butter,mct oil as well as some cocconut sugar in it to give it that special taste that seems to make me so happy these days.  I hearthe mct oil is suppose to help with weight loss for sme reason, I believed it yet I have done no research on it, I only have faith that someday this gut of mine will go away and I can be the me that I've always wanted to be.
           Fat is something that I've aleays hated about me, it's the last thing I despise no that  thnk about it.I've learned to love even the worst things about me over the past few years (ever since the rebirth) yet my body still isthe source of much of my dismay. "You're going to get fat, you're going to get fat,'you're oing to get fat,get fat,get fat,get fat, ou're too fat,too fat ,too fat, fat,fat,fat...." It might seem like I'm being overly dramatic but if I look back into a select area of my past I could run a stream of instances where those words we're always thrown at me, usually from people who thought they were helping. Remember when I said that the wonderful yet horrifing thing about mankind is that if you tell a human something long enough eventually they believe it? This is what I believe, I'm fat, have always been fat, will always be fat and will die a blob of failure that people will point and laugh at. When I think about it I get so angry I want to hurt everyone around me, I can't hurt my friends and family though right? I love them, they love me, so what do I do with this anger?
           This is the part where I'm trying to rewire my brain. My MO is to get angry/depressed and rather than do something constructive I take that anger out on me. I do this by eating like shit, eating something horrible like a double whopper, fries, coke oh and don't forget the chocolate pie they have! On the way home I should get something to snack on later, sure I have frozen pizza at home as well as pasta but I could go for a hostess cupcake or some chips right about now. sounds good? Maybe a little gross? I agree completely Party People.
          Here's the thing about addictions to anything, they feel great! If they didn't we wouldn't do them. They feel so good in fact that while they are changing your life for the worse you don't even realise it. Think of an anesthetic for your soul, you're numb, they joy that once was so intense becomes into a desire to not feel anything at all. Well I need to feel again, feel something else besides my stomache anyways. I find myself focusing on what I'm feeling after I eat, I don't want to hate myself anymore when it comes to food but I don't want to be too easy on me either.
           There's some baby steps in here somewhere I know it, I just don't see it just now. I won't get too down on not seeing them as this is only day one =)

Till next time Party People!
Keep on a Chooglin!

Friday, October 18, 2013

It's a lot of what you would think it is, not what it ever was...only more so!

It's a lot of what you would think it is, not what it ever was...only more so!
          That's right I'm feeling creative Party People! Hence the confusing idea that's used as bait to lure you all into thinking that I'm thinking deep! Before I go any further let me show you the inspiration to this artsy high I'm feeling :

           As I was listening to Steven Pressfield author of The War of Art I found myself hating the fact that I was driving a cab instead of sitting here at my computer writing (like I am right now). This pod is making me look at what forms of resistence I have in my life and now I'm formulating a plan on how to overcome them.
           Am example of resistance if distractions that keep me from writing on a daily basis. So perhaps I need to jump start my writing again by doing a daily blog? I've done 90 days of continuous writing, this should be no problem, right?
           I think a theme is needed for this upcoming project though. I've got it! I'll write a blog every morning for the next thirty days! Why morning time? Because I won't have been completely awake so the stream of conscious writing should be in full effect! Think of this as a workout rgiment for creativity, you're all welcome to join in the work if you like in the comment section, just copy and paste your own blog into the comments and let's see what we come up with! It doesn't have to make sense, hell we don't even have to read it after we're done! I think the writing alone is going to make this super special and 10 types of awesome!

Till Next Time Party People
Keep on a Chooglin!