Thursday, February 9, 2012

I go out walking, under the moonlight...

Evening Party People!

       So what's new? Well life keeps changing all the time, or perhaps it's not changing but I'm the one who is different? It's kind of hard to get perspective on how things really are in your own life while you're living it,right? That's why I've been trying to remove myself from my life for about an hour at a time a few times a week. I do this by going on walks through my neighborhood. Granted I'm sure it's only a matter of time before people start to think I'm casing the houses in Tempe, but untill then I'm going to take advantage of the anominity.

        Normally I go on these walks early in the morning, around 6-7, meaning it's quiet. This early in the morning most of the young people are either sound asleep or just getting to bed so I don't have to worry about traffic as much. Tonight I went out around 10 pm and I found that I had a different experience at that hour. Why was it different? I'm not sure to be honest, maybe it was because there was no sunrise to greet me, or maybe it was the few stars that I could see once I got to the town lake that helped center me in a way that I haven't been since I was living in Lucerne.
       There's something about looking at the stars at night. When it's day light we can see and end or a ceiling to everything around us. At night we see the cosmos and truly have a sense of the infinite that surrounds us. If you're not sure what I'm talking about might I suggest that you step out of the house one night and find a place where you can see as many stars as possible. To do this you'll have to find a place where there isn't a lot of light so perhaps you should take someone with you when you do this. When you find a spot look up into the sky and take a deep breath. Try to imagine the whole universe that lies above you. Think of all the stars and planets that surround them in its entirety. Close your eyes and realize that the universe isn't only above you but below you and behind you. It can seem a little daunting when it hits you but at that point , take a deep breath and feel your feet and how they connect to the ground. I find that when I do this I have a sense of insignificance yet with location, considering the vastness of everything, location is more than enough.

        After that go home and watch Better Off Dead and look for the scene with the strung out math teacher, You'll thank me for this, trust me ^^

Till next time Party People,
Keep on a Chooglin!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

The Unexpected arrives right on time!

Happy Superbowl Sunday Party People!

Ok I don't want to shit all over the Super Bowl but doesn't it seem like every year we treat this more and more like a real holiday? Perhaps it is, I have a funny feeling that this will be one of those years where I don't observe this particular holiday. I think I'll quit before I go any further, I didn't jump online to bitch about a bunch of people being happy.

Yesterday was a pretty big day for me. It marks me making my first big mistake with a shoot I did for a restaurant. I won't go into any of the details but basically I wasn't as prepared as I should have been and as a result I didn't get any of the shots I wanted. Granted I got what I needed but perhaps that was the whole point in all of this, real funny God =P All kidding aside I was pretty upset at myself when I left the restaurant.

It's funny at how something that would have sent me in a depressive tailspin only a few years ago only pisses me off. I left the restaurant and needed to buy some smokes and grab a bite to eat before I met my friends at the Icehouse for a jam. I hate eating fast food these days but the only thing close was a McDonald's close to where I used to live on Indian School Rd. As I approached McSatan's burger shack I noticed that they had built a Panda Express right next to where I was heading.

Maybe it's because of all the sugar or the chicken, or the sugar coated chicken but I love me some Panda Express! I sat down to inhale my dinner which left me a little more satisfied than a value meal from next door. I opeed my fortune cookie expecting to get something that read like,"That wasn't chicken". To my suprise it said something more profound.

Focus on your Art and Creativity

It hit home with me, as did the coming indigestion. It reaffirmed my intent from a few years back which was in order to confront my destructive nature I would counter by being constructive. I can't tell you how I've salvaged some pretty horrible days in my life by writing, or painting and what not. Now it seems that was once just an effort has evolved into a fully functioning safety net from which I move forward everyday.

I then left to grab some smokes and some drunk guy was standing out front of the Circle K talking (or slurring) on the phone trying to get directions to a restaurant. Funny thing was that the place he was so desperately trying to find was two blocks away. I thought about helping him but the irony as well as the metaphor were so intense I couldn't deprive the rest of the world from seeing this. I can only hope it was as apparent to everyone else as it was to me.

As for the jam it was great! Jennie came to watch for a bit but the music was so mellow she was starting to doze off so she headed off home. We sat and talked for a bit before she left and all I can say is that I'm so glad she's in my life. I went back upstairs to the jam after she left and things started to become clearer amidst the chaos.

I found myself taking more chance than I ever had been before in this jam. Mostly because I started making up lyrics to some of the music we were creating. What this meant to me was that after all this time I think I'm starting to trust myself in the way that I've always wanted to. Is this what freedom feels like?

Till next time Party People!
Keep on a Chooglin.