The Art of the Artless

You'll have to excuse me for today's title, sometimes I can think of something witty, other days it's all I can do to just think.

So how about some good news first eh? I start my orientation at the new job tomorrow! I'm really excited to work there, truth be told I always used to wonder what it would be like to work at that resort as I drove past it year after year. On top of that I might have a job at a super swanky place up in Sco-Town!

Ok so at this point in time I'm not living the life of a producer/artist but even still I'm miles ahead from where I started this whole change. I still have a few films under my belt and I have some open mic nights to look back apon (and there will be more I can promise you that). So where'd I end up after Host? I left a job that allowed me to pay my bills for a job that might have been able to cover my basic bills but in the end it didn't.

So here's me, rent is past due and I probably have a week or two before I start losing things like my phone and internet and what have you. I'm in a bad spot right? Holy shit, time to panic right? Perhaps at one time that's what I would've done but after going through so much shit I find that your mind will either say,"Fuck it, just give up." Or it says," I've been through worse, wake me when it's something I can't handle." Needless to say my mind chose the latter. Funny how I left a job I no longer enjoyed to a job that didn't seem to like me to two jobs that I hope will invite me in for coffee.

Hey did you guys see that movie "The Fighter"? I watched it for what was supposed to be only a few minutes but after two minutes I was glued for the duration.Christian Bale did an amazing job with his role. The relationship between his character and his brother really hit a chord with me. Funny how a movie can remind you of the best and worst parts or a relationship. It made me want to fly up to Montana and give my brother a hug. Now keep in mind that movie wasn't a direct comparison to my brother and I's relationship, it just had a lot of similarities.

I would have called him but when the movie was done it was like 4:45 am or something like that. Insteadf I picked up my guitar and started working on my new song, I figured it was the closest thing I could do to giving my brother a hug. Drew and I never were boxers like in the movie, didn't need boxing, we had music. The two of us sitting downstairs in the basement in Lucerne listening to album after album. When we had a new song to listen to or a new album we made sure we knew it backwards and forewards. It was down in that basement where I learned to appreciate music. That's where I knew deep down I wanted to be a musician too, just like my brother.

Over the years we have had our ups and downs. There were a lot of times we were there for each other, there some time that we weren't. In the end the only thing that really maters is that we love each other, even when "we" get in the way of that. You know as many problems as we both have I feel so silly for being so pissed at him for not taking his music further. It was important for me at that time to stay pissed at him for not moving forward, it kept my mind off of dealing with the fact that I didn't move at all.

These days we both are making strides in moving forward, well some days are strides, the others just steps. That's how it goes right? We can't live life in a catchy hook and chorus, it's verse chorus verse, ups and downs, just like every song I heard in the basement.

Not sure what else I can say tonight, so I'll just say good night.

Till next time Party People
Keep on a Chooglin!

The Weirdest thing just happened.

Morning Party People,

Ok this isn't some monumental thing that's altered the fabric of realty or anything but hey, I need to keep writing and not all of my observations are going to be the Theory of Relativity =P

I woke up this morning and finished watching Death Becomes Her, if you've never seen it before it's like a zombie film for chicks in the 80's. Afterwards I turned on Modern Warfare and started blasting fools like it was indeed no thang. after one match of playing a wave of boredom ran over me in which I ooked at my cat and said,"This sucks, I think I want to do something else."

The only thing that seemed like a good idea was to brew a pot of coffee and sit right here and write to you guys. Like I said this isn't some monumentous thing , just know that in my mind this is as much fun as playing Modern Warfare.

Oh hey my LLC is almost official! Awesome huh? My sweetie Jennie did something very special for me. This was so touching that it's still settling in for me. She went to Denver this past week to visit her family and in her trip she went to the Denver Art Mueseum. I'm not sure if she got this in the giftshop or not but she got me a card holder for my business! That wasn't the half of it, when she got back she had it engraved with the company name as well as mine on it! How awesome is that ?

I find as the years go on presents while fewer and farther between become more and more special. You know how they say it's the thought that counts? I think this is what they mean. Speaking of awesome thoughtfull things. On the 18th of this month my cousin and his sweetie are throwing their holliday party, last year they were nice enough to throw my Birthday into the celebration just like they offered to do this year! I'm looking forward to it a great deal, I want to bake something awesome for them, so I have two weeks to figure something out, any suggestions?

Till next time Party People,
Keep on a Chooglin!

Not a lot to say yet so much to do!

Well I knew I was going to have to face this sooner or later. Money is tight these days and it looks like my plans haven't worked out the way I'd hoped for. I could lose my apartment, my camera, my monitors, and who knows what else.

So do I admitt that I made a mistake by leaving the airport? Did I fail? In my heart the only way I can trully fail is if I give up on the company. I'm the owner as well as the employee and as the employee I really hope my boss will stick it out. I've had many impossible situations come up in many of my units at the airport and one thing held constant: I always did what I had to do to make the shift work. I did it then and I intend to do it now.

My currant job isn't offering the money that I need to live on, so I went looking for another gig and I found two. So with any luck I'll be starting two new jobs this month, one for mornings, the other for nights. It'll be exausting but if this is the grunt work I need to do for now then so be it, I'll find a way.

It makes sense though, in management some days you walk through the units delegating but rarely doing any actual labor, other days you're scrubbing toilets and washing dishes, I'm chalking this current situation up to one of those labor intensive days.

Last night as I laid in bed I thought about all the stuff I should have been thinking about on  thanksgiving, what am thankful for? I'm thankful for all of my friends, I'm thankful for every relationship I've ever had, even more so for the friendships that grew out of them. I'm thankful for my bed, it's much more comfortable than my last one which gave me a bunch of back pain on a nightly basis. I'm even thankful for the old bed because it was a gift from one of my best friends who didn't want me to sleep on my recliner (the only thing I had to sleep on at the time). I'm thankful for the gal I'm seeing now, she's sweet and wonderful and I enjoy every moment I spend with her. I'm also thankful that I haven't jumped headfirst into this relationship, it feels weird to me to take things slow, or slower than I usually do in these matters. Is this that growing up thing I've heard so much about?

Well I need to hop in the shower and get scrubbin if I'm going to make it to work on time.  Hope you all have a great day, if you get a chance try and take a look at all the baby steps you have taken over the past year, I find it's the best way to find true thanks for what we have.

Till next time Party People,
Keep on a chooglin!

Whoa....Joey Lawrence Whoa!!!

Ever have one of those dreams that freak you the hell out? I just did. Morning Party People.

I'm writing to you about 5 minutes after I just woke up today. The reason for this is that I'm trying to see what comes out of my skull before my mind fully wakes up. Think of it as an extension of the time between dreaming and waking...and in some cases baking.

So the weird part was that in this dream there were three people in some room and we were trying to communicate with God. I put my hand on some piller which material seemed to change when I touched it, like it was tuning. Vibrations filled the pillar which reverbirated into music that only I could hear. It was a message of assurance of love and telling me to perciviere, that a chior sings by the rising tide and their song will be my armour. That and I was a silver which makes no sense to me...ok less sense.

As weird dreams go this one was pretty comforting. I mean if you ever dream about getting a message from God you'd hope it would be a positive and encouraging one. Imagie if the message you got was the same as if God was a drepressed 24 years old pot head talking to you while paying Modern Warefare and is getting smoked 4-18.

You : Hey God, sorry to bug you, just wanted to ask-"

God : What? hold on dude I'm getting my ass handed to me, fucking lag man.

You : That sucks man, I just was wondering about this new direction I'm taking.

God : Whatever dude, I mean people try right? What's the point though, only the lucky ones ever make it.

You : To be honest God I was thinking about making my own luck.

God : Like I said bro, people have tried....FUCKING CAMPERS!!!

Just in case you don't get the camper joke I suggest you try playing Modern Warefare online and then you'll know why the joke is really funny.

Whats nice about all of this is that dreams like these are not only a great sign for the future but also for my present as well. The last time I started having dreams like these was when I started The Artist Way which is a book about artistic recovery. One of the projects was called The Morning Papers which is when you write about three pages of random thoughts down every morning when you wake up. One of the effects of doing that project was that it seemed to open up sections of the mind  that are more receptive to (what I believe is ) divine inspiration, thus dream become more and more vivid.

Well I have two interviews today, one will be for a morning serving position or a line cook position at a resort, the other will be for an upscale restaurant in the Fashion Square in Scottsdale. Part of me is thinking of taking both for right now just to build up some extra cash. At least until my tax return comes in next year. I've learned to live modestly over the past few years, hell I stretched my last check from Host for like a month and a half. I could go on and on about all of this but when it comes down to it, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Last night my cousin got me in on a gig for the Phoenix Comicon filming the Q n A's and such. Aside from being a great opportunity this should be a metric fuck ton of fun! However, between now and then lies a shit ton of meetings and a whole lot of planning, all of which I'm looking forward to with a great deal of vigor and zeal...I could have just said zeal but for some reason I wanted to you to know that I'll be awake for all of this....that or the coffee I'm drinking is just now kicking in =s

Tell next time Party People!
Keep on a Chooglin!

Status of job search = DisSucks!

Morning Party People!

Ah so the search continues for the perfect part time job, one in where I make just enough money to get by while having to do as little as possible time commitment wise. I know that sounds lazy and perhaps it is but hey that's what happenes when you pay people just enough not to quit. This leads me to today's  story.

A few days ago I went to put in an app at the Doubletree Hotel. Now if you're not familiar with Doubletree they are one of the nicer hotels out there. So when I walked into the lobby I was emediatlly impressed by the decor, it said to me,"If you could afford this place you'd expect it to be nicer." Well to someone like me I found it to be glamourous.

I went to the HR department and filled out the app. I looked over the job posting and they had a part time serving position open.The HR gal was out to lunch so I thought I'd wait around to hand it to her instead of it getting lost in all the other paperwork. Turned out she decided to take a long lunch so instead of waiting around I went down the street to the Crown Plaza to fill out another app. Let me tell you, there is nothing more promising about a job opening than a front desk who absolutly does not want to talk to you about said opening. It's a lot like going up to the hot girls in High School and having them curl their lips and go ,"Ewwwww it talks."

So back to the Doubletree.

When I got back the HR lady was there, we go into the office where the lights came down and Barry White music filled the air. Ha! Kidding! That would be funny if it were true huh? Ok so she tells me that the position is for two days a week at 5 hours a piece. For those of you in the servingworld that translate to 80-100 bucks a week if you're lucky. I asked her who are they trying to get to fill the position? The answer? Someone who doesn't need it.

She then told me about a security position for their graveyard shift and what the job would entail, and to be honest it seemed like quite abit. I usually never ask this question on the first interview but I had to ask,"How much does the position start out at?"

"$10.25"

I then stared into her eyes with a "Are you fucking kidding me?" look on my face. We both sat there in silence for what seemed to be hours, days even. Somewhere in the world a sun was setting on a sand dune where two nomads looked to the horizon pondering their existence. One nomad looked to the other and in their native tongue said  $10.25? He couldn't believe it either.

I politely got up and left chuckling to myself. I was thinking that it would be great if we could start a new trend at interviews where if the company asks you to work a job that has some danger in it but tried to pay you a wage that only a 21 year old with 4 roommates can live on, then we do something nasty on our way out,. My first thought was to slap who ever is doing the interview.Then again me slapping a gal half my size doesn't really make a statement of protest about working conditions and pay rates as it does of "Hey this guy is an asshole." I think they would want to interview less or tell their boss they need to up the starting wage, anything to stop the assaults. Then I thought promoting violence wouldn't be the best idea, then again I would love to hear the evening news issue a report like this:

"A new Wal-mart is opening in Goodyear....so far there have been 15 arrests at the job fair, coincidentally a spokesman for Wal-Mart says they're hiring interviewers for their new store, at least two years of Martial Arts experience preferred."

So maybe another form of protest is in order. Maybe we just steal their pen from the desk or knock over one item on the desk. Perhaps the best way is after they tell you how little the pay is we look into their eyes and let loose a long fart, then say no thanks and leave.

So yeah I haven't found a new job yet, guess no one is hiring lol.

Till next time Party People,
Keep on a Chooglin!

Get off mah lawn!!!

Ok so some of my more conservative friends might disagree with me on some of these points but hey it wouldn't be the first time and yet we're all still friends.

Ok so I just finished watching a video about how much Obama is fucking you out of your money, standard right wing bullshit and half-truths if you ask me. What really struck me as odd/insulting was the fact that shots of whiskey were used to make the point. To me it kind of said,"Hey Fucktards, listen I know you hicks were to busy getting each other pregnant in high school while calling you economics teacher a fag to figure this out for your self so let me use something you can understand, jack mutha fuggin daniels bitch!"

Ok lets put that video aside for a moment. This is the point or question I'd like to ask you. Don't you think it's odd that when we protest the war(s) the protest go relatively smoothly? When the people of Wisconsin protested having their unions busted the protest went without a great deal of violence. When the Tea Party came storming into town halls (or just showing up) and started screaming it went with out any violence (excluding Congresswoman Giffords) All of these protests were heated but the cops never came in to beat the shit out of people. Yet when we protest against the banks.... well there was the line we never should have crossed. So who is it that's really taking away your freedom?

For me I would say its the entity whose main motivator is profit. Is profit bad? Not usually, but when it becomes the main motivator in any company it usually kills whatever host it's feeding on. Paying you the lowest wage you'll work for is good for the companies profit. Making our food with the cheapest ingredients that offer just enough food safety to not get us immediately sick is good for the company profit. Offering the insurance that offers the least coverage with the lowest cost is good for the company profit.

I know there are a lot of people out there that want to believe they are an island and they don't need any outside help. For this I blame Rambo and every other bullshit 80's movie. No one is a one man army, you cannot take on the forces of evil with a light machine gun in one arm and a chain of bullets in the other. Seriously anyone who has played Call of Duty knows that. Oh and before I forget, playing High School football does not mean that you have a shot at taking on the Russian Army with a bow and arrow ><

I think of it this way. If we're all kids playing on the school playground. There are a bunch of "us" then there are a few big bullies. One of those bullies is called the government , these others are the Banks, Lobbyists, Military industrial complex, ect. Now if all of these bullies had there way when the bell rings they'd be waiting by the swings to kick the crap out of  us. The government bully however will stop terrorizing us if enough of us stand together and tell him to stop. He'll even go beat the shit out of the other bullies for us if enough of us ask him to. If we leave him unchecked he starts beating the shit out of all of us, so we have to spend at least a few minutes every recess to make sure he doesn't go all "special"strong on us and kill a bunch of bunnies.

Its the lesser of two evils really, but thats life isn't it? Nothing is ever the exact way we want it, nor should it be. We all have to contribute something right? I mean life didn't end at graduation did it?

Did it?

Starts with a G# no maybe an Ab hmmmm

"I don’t leave because I’m afraid to be alone...."

I started listening to Keaton Simons today. To be honest I like his acoustic performances much more than his studio work. It was in an interview where he was asked what he strives for when writing a song. In the case of “Without your skin” he was trying to be as honest as possible.

"I don’t leave because I’m afraid to be alone, but it doesn’t even matter now your gone..."http://youtu.be/P6mp2geIEPI

Man that really hit me at my core for so many reasons. On an emotional level I’ve felt     I’ve been in those shoes all too often. I think this year was the first relationship where I didn’t fall into that rut. The song also hit me in a sense that as open as I’ve felt I’ve been with my music that there seems to be far more I can delve into.

I bring this up to elaborate something I mentioned in an earlier blog. I was playing around on the guitar the other day and I started thinking about some of the women in my life where I don’t have so pleasant memories of. I think I try to repress so much anger towards the people in my life that it tends to implode on my sense of being. I used to have a pretty bad temper in my youth, it kind of runs in my family now that I think about it. Not exploding towards everyone who pissed me off was a good thing, at the same time I didn’t defend myself in many cases because I was afraid of hurting anyone.Through my music however I found a raw layer of hurt that has never had a chance to heal.

    It pissed me off to no end this week, I watch all these happy families walk into the restaurant, sit and smile and bask in the joy that is love in the holidays. Me? I stand behind a bar munching on some shitty snack mix stuck in life as a spectator! I had a family once, I was a Dad, with all of that gone I have this open wound that aches every November 24 and December 25. That’s not even the part thats been pissing me off lately, hell it’s been years since all that ended (I’ve had time to move on) it was the one gal that I called my girlfriend or the echo of her that's been getting to me.

    So I’ve started writing my “Fuck You” song, I’m excited about it. Not because I want to hurt her or anyone else for that matter. I’m excited about confronting all of this and seeing what will come out of it. If anything it will give me a chance to spend more time on my electric!

Till next time Party People, keep on a Chooglin!