Sunday, November 1, 2020

I think it's time to take a good look inward.

 What's shakin' Party People?

    At the time of this writing. I sit on a perch high above my own world. I come here time to time and try to see where I have gone wrong. I also look for ways that I share the mistakes of those whom I care for. If I'm feeling particularly masochistic, I look for the same mistakes that I made with people I don't care for at all.

    This is a difficult place to be, it's uncomfortable, it's agonizing, the fear of the pain it will bring far outweighs the benefit of facing it. In short, It's like being a Fat Guy who knows he needs to exercise but just doesn't want to. Normally my fat ass doesn't hurt anyone unless you're sitting next to me on the plane. It's strange isn't it? My life with all it's issues can exist just fine until I have to interact with someone else. That's more true than false the more I think about it. The same could be said about how I speak, how I feel, and more importantly how I act.

    You remember the kid in your neighborhood that grew up in a house with completely different set of rules than you did? Like their parents let the curse or choose what they wanted for dinner, They seemed liked they could do whatever they wanted while you lived in a version of prison with some G.I. Joe's to play with? They would be at your house to play and would do something that's normal at their house but is a hell worthy trespass in your house. Then you stuck in the middle of two worlds, both real, both have value, yet you're not sure which one to believe in. That's kind of how I feel when I pop in to look at my Facebook feed.

    If what I'm about to talk about makes no sense, I'd suggest that you go see the Netflix Doc, "The Social Dilemma". Watching this film seemed to put a finger on what I felt was going wrong in my life.  I felt disconnected in my own world, I still do to a certain extent. I feel separated from my friends and family, I feel like I have to feel the same way they do on an issue or they won't like me anymore. In turn I have avoided talking to people who were friends because of views they had that I didn't share. So by no means am I innocent in this scenario. I think we're all villains, we're also all victims. We are the kind of victim that no one feels sorry for because we did this to ourselves. I mean you can feel bad for a person who discovered why they became an addict, as we all should. However , once they make a choice not to work on themselves, then I think it's best I save my sympathy for someone where it isn't a waste. For any young idealist reading this word jumble, I'd say to be cautious of a precious thing like a loving heart, there are thieves who will take it just so you don't have it. I'm getting off the subject that I wanted to talk about, sorry about that.

    In a few days, we will have a country divided , isolated, and furious. They have been watching what has been going on in their world, they watch the news, they have their finger on the pulse of what this world is all about. If that were true.....why didn't their guy win? How could this world be on the wrong side of history? It's obvious isn't it?

    We are wrong. We're wrong on how we perceive the world, and we are defiantly completely wrong on how we think other people see the world. Notice I didn't say "You", I said "We". 

    In times of struggle, humanity has always banded together to defeat an adversary, in this case , the adversary has already divided us so we can't use the very evolutionary tool that has given us the power to survive. Yet we must. We must survive. If any of you out there thinks if America collapses, it'll only effect us, you have another thing coming. We must survive, we must work to bridge the divide in all of us and it starts right at home by looking in the mirror and making a choice.

    That's what I'm trying to do anyways. I started by looking how I'm using Facebook and YouTube. I found I was wasting too much time on Facebook and I was building resentment of my friends who I felt were changing for the worst. I replaced the time on Facebook with time on YouTube. That took even more time and attention from my life that I totally could have used on my own well being. It's going to take some time, so why not start on rebuilding now?

    All I know is that no matter who you backed on November 3rd, I'll do my best to be there for you it doesn't go your way.

    Till next time Party People, keep on a chooglin!


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