Friday, June 15, 2018

Why not to date a Comic/Artist

Evening Party People,
         Full disclosure, I've had about half of a weed lollipop so I'm feeling pretty open now.
         I love my wife, that's no secret. She's everything that I ever wanted in a relationship as well as in friendship. That's not to say that I haven't had other people love me or been as close a friend as she has. There's a reason why I chose to spend my life with her, it's not because she loved me more than anyone else in my past, it's because she understood who I was as an artist.That my friend is not an easy thing to do, not just for me but for any artist who wants to dedicate their life to entertaining people.
          There were a few ladies in my past that wanted to give me the world but in my heart I knew I couldn't accept it, not from them. I had made a big mistake before in my first marriage for many reasons. All these mistakes that I had made started out as a good intention then somewhere along the way they morphed into rusty razors slicing not only through my life but also to the woman I once had loved. For that reason I knew I couldn't make a commitment like marriage ever again unless I was completely honest with who I was.
          I remember years ago in Tempe when Jennie first moved in, I was at my desk writing something and she kept trying to talk to me. For any decent human being they would've stopped writing and engaged their sweetie. That's not what I did, I grew increasingly more upset every time she tried to talk to me until I saw a tear roll down her face and she went into the next room. Once again a decent human would have stopped writing but I didn't. I finished the piece I was working on then waited for her to come back out. I didn't want to be an asshole about it but I had to get that thought out. Once Jennie came back out we had to acknowledge my shitty behavior , she didn't yell at me, she didn't draw any line in the sand but let me know she wasn't happy. I wasn't either because I didn't want to have to choose between a relationship and my art, not like I did in my first marriage.
In the end I would tell her when I was going to be working on something and would need some time, obviously if there is something super important we would totally talk about whatever was on her mind. I'm guessing she felt that if she was going to love an artist she had to accept everything about him, not just the fun parts.
         I had to accept the ugly parts about being an artist as well. There are many things that are ugly but here are just a few:

1. I'm selfish - Weather it's a stand-up set,a podcast, part in a show or just working of painting I am committed. Everything else in the world will take a back seat. Friend or family in trouble? Will they still be in trouble after the show? Sorry it'll have to wait. That's a horrible thing to say but a performers one rule is "The Show must go on!" That's something many of performers live and die by.

2. I'm emotionally needy/volatile/impulsive- Part of being creative is wanting to share your thoughts and feelings 24/7. It would be awesome if the whole world was interested but more often than not nobody cares.That wont stop an artist from trying to share them anyways. If you're looking for a stoic person to share your life with then an artist isn't for you.

3. Performing came first in my life any it is my first true love- That's like being in a poly-amorous relationship of sorts. Poly in the way that  if you're dating a performer you're also dating their love of performing. Meaning you're not the only person dating that artist, art got to them first and isn't letting go anytime soon.

There any many more crappy things about me but hopefully you get where I'm going with this. I thought I should put this out there so if you think you're in love with a creative you might want to see the whole picture and what you're getting to.

At some point we all have to take responsibility for the things that make us nuts and to do our best not to make our struggle a love one's burden..

Till Next time Party People
Keep on a chooglin!

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