Friday, February 12, 2021

My thoughts on the whole Gina Carano situation.

 Hello Party People,

    So I've been upset over the past few days over the whole Gina Carano situation. I've been fighting the urge to take to social media and voice my opinion but then I thought, why don't I just go outside and start swinging punches into the void as I throw kicks into the night. All those options are futile and comical to say the least.

    I've seen many people on my timeline cheer for Disney not moving forward with the Cara Dune character. I've also seen it worded differently. An example would be that "Disney will not move forward with any project with Gina Carano" which has one effect. The other would be a kin too ,"Disney fires Gina Carano for abhorrent social media tweets." which gets a much different reaction. So who do I believe?

    I went on her twitter page and scrolled for a few minutes and couldn't find anything offensive. Then I read that the tweets in question were removed. I did see one post where (to me) she was talking about a society that was turned on each other and as a result many people were killed. She used the treatment of the Jewish people in Germany to which some people took even more offense to that. I'm sure that there are other examples that people have but I have to admit, there's something underneath all of this that is really troubling me.

    Before I go forward, I must tell you that as of this writing, I'm still not sure what's pissing me off so much. Here's what I do know.

    - There seemed to be a concerted effort to attack Gina Carrano from a month or so back. Another faceless internet mob going after a celebrity. I can go either way on this one, let's be honest, there a shit ton of famous people who get talked into "Using their voice" by people who no one would ever want to listen to. Sometimes it a great thing to behold, most of the time it isn't.

    - Disney seems to be able to dictate an actors behavior and expression even when they're not working. This is a huge grey area, inside of an enigma, that's perched on a slippery slope. I remember a company in Arizona who refused to hire anyone who smoked cigarettes. From what I remember, this wasn't just for people who were working on the clock, but it applied to their employees when they weren't at work. There was a big debate on the company policy but the general question was ,"Does the company you work for have control over what you do in your free time?" I think the big difference between Disney and any other company is that Disney has the element of publicity to deal with. Even so, I would be conflicted if someone offered me fame and money but I have to stop being who I am. For the record, anyone who would walk away from a dream job to keep their integrity has heart to say the least.

    - There are a bunch of fake ass artists on my page that will cheer for someones demise over their beliefs. It's their right to express themselves for sure, I just wish they'd stop pretending to be an artist. When other people think of artist stereotype, it's one of a weak willed, emotionally fragile person that needs someone to take care of them because they're too sensitive to handle the real world....maybe that's just my view of most artists, maybe that's my fear of what I might become? The point is, a true artist has the conviction to stand for what they believe in, no matter how batshit crazy it might be. There were too many of my fellow artists on my feed who were cheering on this whole event, to which I just unfriended. I wish them the best but the main reason I stay in contact with so many artists on my Facebook page was to hopefully work with them further on down the road. Well I don't want to to work with them anymore. Integrity means a lot to me.

    - There is a level of hypocrisy that I'm not sure people are seeing (or maybe I'm reading too much into it). You know if you want want strong women with conviction in this world, there's a chance they're not going to think the way you want them to think, right? On one hand there are a bunch of people who were really all,"Yaas Queen" over the Cara Dune character, while at the same time there were people wanting Gina Carano to shut up and keep her thoughts to herself. I know they're not the same thing but you have to admit, the whole situation is odd.

    In the end, I'm caught up in a whirlwind of emotion to which nothing good could come of. I know a woman like Gina Carano doesn't need a guy to stand up and defend her. I know the character of Cara Dune reminded me a lot of the strong women I grew up around and learned from. I know that I'm bummed that there wont be any more stories with her in it. 

    At the end of the day, there were two great seasons of The Mandalorian, which were two more than I really expected there to be. The good times I had watching that show with my wife can never be taken away and for that, I'm grateful.

Till next time Party People,

Keep on a Chooglin!

Friday, January 22, 2021

The Mansplaining Ship has left the Harbor!

 Evening Party People,

    I'm finally putting my creative money where my metaphysical mouth is.... or something like that. I wanted to let you all know that the first Episode of Mansplaining with Jacob and Dave is officially out in the internet!

    We broadcast it live on Twitch every Thursday at 9 (the Seinfeld slot sun!). You can follow my channel at and get notifications when we go live.

    Or you can watch clips of our show on You Tube

    Lastly, you can download the audio podcast on Spreaker, Spotify, and hopefully iTunes and Stitcher in the future.

    It's taken me a long time to get the courage to create something like this show, a show that once you get past the bombast and spectacle of manliness, caries a message that we hope young men will listen to. Thanks for sticking with me this far.

Till Next time Party People,

Keep on a Chooglin'

Monday, December 21, 2020

Another First Step Forward, Another Step Further from Home

 Evening Party People,

    As I write this, it's 9:34 PM on a Monday here in Denver Colorado. I was planning to take a day off tomorrow but the gods of the Day Job have summoned me once again to be at work at 7 in the morning. I half expected it as I was trying to work my Restaurant Magic to summon business.

    This morning I had to go to Sam's Club to pick up some supplies for work. As I was walking past the gift section I saw a Yamaha Keyboard with a stand for a decent price. I've felt impulse buys before but something told me I had to get this as opposed to me really wanting it. Was it an impulse to spend? Was I trying to feel fulfilled via a new toy?

    I've felt that many times before but this time there was no rush, no euphoria, just a feeling of completion. Like this was a step I have been needing to take for quite sometime. I've felt for awhile that my fear or singing in public has been a weak spot in my armor for a long time. I think it was because it was the first time I had failed in front of a crowd before. It was like sparring for the first time, that moment of terror when one realizes that they're not naturally gifted, that this won't come easy.

     The sounds like a reasonable fear right? My problem was I wasn't used to that feeling when it happened. I was gifted at a fairly decent amount of things so the thought of me not being "good enough" never entered my mind. That's a dangerous place to be. Now I've failed before but when I do it's due to me not performing up to my skill level, which I know. When it comes to singing and music, I have no idea where my level is. So there is fear. A fear that even if I devote myself to music, that I still won't be any good, I won't be special. 

    Silly fear right? It is, if I look at it with reason. However, fear isn't always based in reason and as such, reason isn't always the best tool to undo this knot. In this case, the tool I must use is knowledge. I have to follow this path to see where the end is. I must know if I have anything to offer in this art. If I find out that I don't, at least I'll know and fear will have no power. If I find I have some talent but nothing "great", then at least I'll know. If I find I have the same energy in my acting and stand-up as I would in music, then I'll know.

    So now I have this new tool in the Studio, which looks more like a studio than a bedroom with a computer in it. I'm happy with my choices, I'm happy with my life. At least for today I am, that's good enough for the time being. Tomorrow I will take a step creatively in another direction, should be an interesting journey.

Till Next Time Party People,

Keep on a Chooglin'

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

2020 Right?

 What's Shakin Party People,

    As I write this it's almost 11 PM here in Colorado . The wind is chilly outside, below freezing to be sure. It's the kind of cold where it should be snowing but it isn't, as if the world hasn't decided how wonderful or crappy your next morning is going to be.

    I'm writing on a new keyboard that went with the new computer I got yesterday. Could I afford it? Not really but I've been wanting a new computer to edit video with and thats exactly what I got. Now I have the tools I need....just need to actually make something now.

    I have two podcasts scheduled to record coming up, that's a good step. However these baby steps are like a workout routine that my body has gotten used to, to the point that it doesn't do much good when I do it, but if I don't my ass gets way bigger. That's not a reason to stop obviously, just an acknowledgment that I need to step up the workout.

    I know I've said this before but maybe I need to clarify it for myself. The next two projects I will start will be one of a Video. Those take a while to make, to plan, to re-plan, then to scrape the whole thing and start over.

    The next one after that will be music related. I need to finish a song that I started many years ago. It's sappy but I think the reason I have such a hard time working on it, is that there's a piece of truth that I haven't reached yet, an honesty I haven't let go of yet that will show the way. This sounds lame but I've always felt that some songs have a life of their own and they won't enter this world until they find an artist that will tell it's story on it's terms. In that respect, that moment that created the song, that point in time that changed my heart, it has one or two more things to say before it can be made whole.

    I've been looking for that "Next Level" in my art. It would be great if all I had to do was get super drunk and high and let the thoughts fly out of every hole in the Universe. One the other hand, might be worth a shot?

    I know I'd like to spend a day with some mushrooms and see what happens. My friends have had some interesting results with them. If I do get some magic mushrooms I'll be sure to let you all know how it went.

    I know this is a short blog but it's late and I need to get some sleep, you should do the same .

    Till Next Time Party People, Keep on a Chooglin'

Sunday, November 15, 2020

No one Likes a quitter!

 Evening Party People.

    As I write this week's blog entry, it's 10 AM on a Sunday. I'm not sure if I had a productive day or if I should have just enjoyed my time. I found I spent a part of my day worrying about my day job. Every time I do I think about how I use my day job as a distraction (or  form of resistance) that keeps me from creating. I'm getting better at catching myself when I do so, however that doesn't change the position I find myself in. Ah Covid, when will you stop bringing out the worst in us all?

    On a more positive note, my Onnit Kettle bell came in last week and this was the first week I used it! That's right, 5 out of 7 days I was swinging this thing around in the studio working up a sweat and dragging my heart rate kicking and screaming into the far burning zone! I count this week as a success on that front of my plan. I gave myself a good example of how I feel after I workout. I used to feel this way when I had a gym membership but that was a while back. It feels good to feel good again. Now I need to keep this same pace for one more week before I add any new aspect to these workouts. The art of encouraging one's self without enabling it is a tricky balance. The only way I've been able to tell is by being brutally honest on how I feel about myself.

    Now on to why I named this week's entry the way I did. I'm quitting smoking once again. Or I'm going off my break of the last time I quit. Either way you put it, I'm requiting smoking..? I had quit for a year and then I started falling off the wagon around the time of the first lockdown. I had gone back to a pack a day for about three weeks now, before that I was buying a bunch of the Prime Time single smokes with the fruit flavors on the filter. If you're not sure which one's those are, they're the cigs you would give to a kid. Either way, I've been smoking and I don't want to. Why? The short answer is 85. That's the age I want to make it to. 

    I turn 45 in December and I'm starting to doubt the amount of time I have left on this world. My Father died when he was in his 50's and now, more than ever, I'm getting closer and closer to the day I say, I'm older than my father was. All I know is I want my time hear to mean something, I want what I've always wanted. To be a part of the Human Story and be a part that made this world a little better than how I found it. 

    This plan that I've started to take that big step is getting closer and closer. With every word I write, for every workout I do. I'm trusting myself just a little bit more and more. It's like giving myself an affirmation that's more than just lip service.

    I should have a new podcast up by tomorrow afternoon, if you haven't already, please check out the podcast and subscribe to it wherever you listen to podcasts.

    Till next time Party People, keep on a Chooglin!

Saturday, November 7, 2020

Latest DisJointed Podcast Episode!

 You can listen to the most recent episode on Spreaker here. You can also find me on iTunes , Stitcher, Spotify, or anywhere you listen to podcasts!

It's Time to Start Planning my Exit from My Day Job.

 What's shakin' Party People,

    At this moment in time it's 1:00 AM here in Denver. I have my laptop, my music (tonight's choice is Radical Face: The Branches), I have some tea and I'm ready to write.

    I just finished watching the Documentary series of The Comedy Store in LA. If you've read my past blogs you'll remember that Jennie and I went there to watch Kill Tony. The series is split into 5 parts and I burned through 4 of them the first evening. If you're a comic and your serious about your art, I'd recommend this series. Watching the store grow through the decades as well as the comics who came through there was inspirational.

    As I watched the series I kept thinking about the one night I was there. There was no seating inside the club so we had to sit in the parking lot and watch the show on a tv. The only time I spent inside was to go to the bathroom, even still, just walking in the hallway I could feel the energy of all the greats, all my comedy heroes who walked down the same hall. I know that sounds hokey, perhaps it is. I've seen celebrities before, I lived in New York and I had seen many celebrities walking down Broadway on a daily basis. (I still owe Rosie O'Donnell an apology) 

    This wasn't like that though, this feeling I had, it was like hearing a familiar voice calling from the darkness. Not from any distant shore, someplace closer, someplace forgotten, it came from inside the dreams of my youth, the dreams of a sixteen year old kid who knew he was going to be a star!

    You ever give up on a dream but you forgot to tell yourself ? That's what I felt like walking through those halls. That's what I felt when we drove down Sunset Blvd, that's the wonderful agony I felt when we drove past Warner Brother's Studios. It was finding a piece of me that I set aside, that night i found it and I feel so much more of myself than I have in years.

Meanwhile back at the ranch...

    Oh life, how dare you let me use so much of you as an excuse not to live you? Earlier this year I accepted a position at my job that was way more responsibility than I wanted yet not so much where I couldn't accept it. As of writing this blog, many restaurants are on the brink of failing, many of us who have been manning the helm are tired and we want it to end. I'd complain more but I know there are many people who don't even have a job...that doesn't make mine suck any less though.

    I have a hunch that once Christmas comes and goes, that will be the end of my job. The thing that worries me isn't not having a job, it's having another job that I use as an excuse not to live the life I wanted. Don't get me wrong, I've had a lot of great things come from my employment, I've learned a lot about selling, a lot about money, and even better, how to be successful and thrive instead of just survive.

    So now after all these years about talking about making that journey from a 9-5 life to one of creativity, I think I'm ready to take that step. Now to make a plan!

    I'm not going to jump off the cliff into the darkness without gathering the right tools first. First step Money!

- I need to make sure I have a few months worth of rent before I do this, luckily I have a great paying job and I have my car paid off, which allows me to save. So no PS5 for me this holiday season.

    Step two, health!

- To be marketable for any acting rolls I'd want to do, I need to be in better health. Meaning not fat. This isn't so I can be accepted by the world, I'm doing this because I hate most of the characters that are played by fat guys. so I've bought a kettle bell which is a good start. I'll also work on the Wim Hoff breathing method to help recovery. I might even break out the DDP Yoga one more time. The point is, I have to prove to myself now that I can move toward a healthier me. I don't want to wait until my job is gone before I start working on my body. It's training for when I have open days, I don't want to waste time sitting in front of the computer pissing my day away. If I have more time to work on myself, I need to prove that I won't waste it.

    Step three, create!

- I need to not only work on comedy but podcasting as well as video editing. I might even add music back into the mix. The point is, I need to have already put a lot of time into improving all the aspects of my creativity and not wait until I have the time. I will make the time!

    Step four, stop writing this blog and get some sleep.

   - Sorry I just realized how tired I am now.

Till next time Party People, Keep on a Chooglin!