Morning Party People!
I made it a point to get up about two hours before I have to be at work in order to do something creative. Think of it like going for a jog or yoga, only it's for my artistic muscle...that sounded weird. Either way I'm up and clicking away at my keyboard for something other than porn and to be honest it feels amazing, the writing not the porn. Now I need to think of something personal and meaningful to share with you this morning, something that might mean as much to you the reader as it did to me the writer.
I noticed I'm going through more toilet paper these days. Could it be because a change in my diet? Have I been eating an abundance of Taco Bell? Or perhaps its for the same reason any guy starts going through more toilet paper than he's used to? That's right Party People I have a new girlfriend!
What can I say she's awesome, smart, funny and above all other wonderful qualities, she's really into me ^^ Now all I have to do is make sure she never gets to know the real me and we'll be together for awhile! Wait that's not right, come to think of it that's my usual MO. Maybe I should dump all of my crap on her and see if she stays? Come to think of it, that rarely works.
" I see your tenderness and affection and I'll raise you my psychosis and angst! I dare you to care bitch!"
I think I've walked in those shoes for long enough and the destination was nowhere near where I ever wanted to be. It led me to many wonderful gals that were in my life yet left me in a place where I was afraid to let any of those gals get close to me. In the end I was in a crowded room feeling completely alone. If I was lucky enough I'd find someone that I would pretend I could be with but lacking the will to ever take the next step.
If I wasn't feeling like Mr.Tragic I was Mr.Hopeless. Mr.Hopeless jumped into a relationship without ever checking the depth of what he just jumped into. Holy shit it's taken me forever to find a middle ground in all of this! Well I've been seeing this gal for a few months now and I'm proud to say that I haven't done any of the usual crap that I've been prone to in the past. In that respect I think I'm using the same pattern as the one in my artistic endeavors. Meaning it's all one baby step at a time.
So whats the next step? The same as it was before this relationship started. I need to book a paying gig for the production company, I need more than anything to make the transition from living off of what I've been doing to what I've always wanted to do. I need to keep moving forward towards a life that I've always wanted. I want to be able to share a life that I'm happy with as opposed to my former relationships where I shared a life I felt no joy in. It'll all happen, one baby step at a time.
Till next time Party People,
Keep on a Chooglin!